Apropos nothing, longtime reader NW forwards a humorous Friday afternoon email:

The unspoken assumption in any possible debate between Alan Dershowitz and Jimmy Carter is that Dershowitz would crush Carter. It's most likely true. Carter is 82, and even in his prime, would not have been a match for Dershowitz.

To be fair, there are not many people who would even consider debating with Dershowitz on any subject. For example, Dennis Prager recently challenged the entire editorial board of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune to a debate, which Prager would have won, and Prager would be clearly outmatched by Dershowitz.

How about Dershowitz v. Batman? Batman must be respected because at one time, he fought Superman, and, using his brains, more than held his own. However, Spiderman (of all the super-heroes) was arguably the smartest, and still, I can't see Tobey Maguire, even with the spidey-sense, being able to debate Dershowitz.

Rocky Balboa v. Alan Dershowitz. Dershowitz finished first in his class at Yale Law School, became a Harvard Law Professor at 28 and publishes a book a year. Rocky, on the other hand, won't have Mickey Goldmill or even Apollo Creed: he doesn't stand a chance.

Dershowitz v. Da Bears. That's pretty even, but let's make it interesting. Da Bears will be coached by Mike Ditka. Ditka can pick his quarterback. Game at Soldier Field. The Refrigerettes and the Super Fans tailgate together and eat an entire roast ox stuffed with suckling piglets and goose liver. For dessert: four fried chickens and a coke. Weather conditions: sleet, snow and a wind chill of minus 50.

I like Da Bears.